Lonely Girl
by Sylphiel Peaceblade
Summary: Continues off where my last fic, Looking In, left off. As it turns out, someone else is alone too...


Lonely Girl

Notes: Sylphiel uses 3rd and first person interchangeably in this fic. Why? Because she's distraught. It's kind of confusing, but deal with it :) This fiction is an interesting and unusual pairing indeed... Sylphiel x Zelgadis. The suggestion was from a reviewer to my previous Sylphiel fiction... saying that someone should try to write her a happy fic as there was a lack of them on the net for her that weren't really depressing. So... here is my attempt at writing a non-angsty pairing... ^^() It is a bit in the first part, but that's because it takes place where Looking In left off. Enjoy, and as always, leave comments... ^_^

<~Freija

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Lonely Girl 

// Part One

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//They don't need me... I'm worthless...//

Running with increased speed, I finally reached my destination. This bridge would be the last thing I ever stood on. I would hit the water, and then it would be all over. It might be a little cold, and it'd probably sting like Hell when landing... but it'd be less painful than living this pathetic excuse for a life.

I placed my hand on the icy metal railing, as the tears flooded over my cheeks. My hair was disheveled, and my eyes were blood shot from crying too much. Gourry had once told that I was pretty. He was the only one. But boy, I must be a sight now. Someone would probably wonder "Who is that crazy girl, ready to throw her life away?"... And then someone else would answer, "oh, her. That's the girl who never told that guy he loved her. And then he got married to her friend."

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//But her? She's Sylphiel. She's supposed to be kind, gentle, and happy all the time. She smiles and shrugs it off. She's always thankful for what she has. Selfish? No, she's not like that... it's not in her character... she's definitely not selfish.//

Or is she?

God, yes...

What other reason would I be standing up here now?

Shakily, I stepped up. Then I began to think. What would this accomplish? Would it make Lina and Gourry happier? No... Would anyone be better off? Yes. I would. I was doing this for my *own* happiness.

So why can I not be happy for Him? And why am I bringing my life to an end? 

Because I am a selfish, lonely girl.

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//There is no one left on this planet that needs me to be alive. So why bother putting myself through the misery?...//

I chuckled slightly, and mused. What will they say when the find out? Will they even care? Would they even bother to give me a tombstone? And what would it say? 

**__**

/Here lies Sylphiel Nels Laada. She died for love./

How terribly fitting. But no, it wouldn't say that. After all, no one knew that I was in love with Him. And it was so obvious, too. Not for Gourry, after all, he was too stupid to figure something like that out... but Lina and them. Why hadn't they known it? Maybe they just didn't WANT to know it. Or maybe they just didn't care enough to bother to find out. Or maybe they do know, and haven't said anything to me out of pity.

After the dust settled, Lina and Gourry had each other. Amelia and Xellos hadn't WANTED anyone. But wait...

There was someone else.

There was someone else who was just as alone as her...

"Sylphiel-san. Come down from there."

I turned, somewhat frightened at the low and mystical voice. I knew it could only be the voice of-

"Zelgadis-san."

"Really, what do you think that will do? How will killing yourself make anything better?"

"No... you don't understand... I have nothing left... you don't understand what I've been through..."

"Really? Is that so?" He laughed, almost sarcastically. "Are you really that stupid that you didn't figure it out by now?"

"Figure out... what..."

"That I was in love with her."

Zelgadis... was...

"How much do you think this hurt me too, Sylphiel-san? Do you think I didn't feel pain, loneliness, and anger, just like you? Do you think I didn't even try myself to just end it all... end this pointlessness of living... multiple times?"

So he... did know, after all.

"And I'm not blind," he continued. "Of course I realized that you are in love with Gourry as well."

"...yes." I muttered, a bit embarressed and frightened. Zelgadis' prescence usually did that to me. "So... why didn't you do it?"

"Because I realized that it wouldn't make anything better. Nothing would go away. If there is an afterlife, my pain would just continue there. And if not, what would be the point?"

For a while back it had seemed like the only thing at all he cared about was finding the cure for his chimera state. Lina and Gourry had admitted their feelings for each other just before we had found it. And then, he suddenly disappeared. We all had viewed it as heartless, that he had just hung around all that time to find the cure, then go on his own right after, disregarding all of his friends. But now... it all made sense.

"So that's why you left. Because you couldn't stand to be there with them... watching them, knowing full well that you loved Lina?"

"Right. In fact Sylphiel, why do you think I wanted to find the cure so much? Because I knew that Lina could never love a hideous thing like me. But as it turned out," he begun to chuckle. "She never would have anyway, even if I had been normal like you. Because there was someone else all along."

I got a feeling then, a strange one. I wanted to comfort him. . .


End file.
